My new thing, if you haven't guessed by now, is to totally overextend myself with jobs and never have time to do anything. This also causes chest pains and alienation.
Well, that sounds a little more tragic than my life really is. So I take it back. My new thing, if you haven't guessed by now, is to only blog once a month, never paint anything, never write anything, never make anything, never do anything, and
yet have time to for some reason sign back up on Facebook and post stupid pointless shit there. Which leads me, of course, to my
25 things. You know you want to know what mine are.
1. Today, I feel guilty for never having been published as a children's book illustrator/author. I don't always feel guilty, just when something creative in me has to shift of be born.... It's less of a goal anymore and more of a thing on my Life's To Do List that I should have gotten around to by now. I sometimes feel that, with my 17 hobbies and 3 jobs, I don't give writing and fine art the attention and dedication it deserves. I even woke up today thinking of my latest and as of yet unfinished book, and then that spiraled down into horrible flashbacks of fucked up people in my life, since the last time I worked on it was last year, on the cusp of the most horrible series of experiences of my life, and so now I have these PTSD-like flashbacks every time I think about it.... weird associations I guess. I hate when bad things ruin good things for me for awhile.
But I really think I need to get back into it. Especially cause Dave just sent me this guy:
http://www.shauntan.net (don't go there yet, read my thing! just kidding, do what you want.)
2. My other hobbies and jobs are graphic design (9-5 and freelance), sewing, knitting, video editing, music, reading, dancing, modeling, writing short stories, working with dog rescue, helping run non-profit org.s for dog rescue, "blogging" (ew) about gross food (yes!!!), collecting vintage and retro furnishings and clothes, making collages and household items, photography. Add those to keeping my life in order, having days off to rest, and having meaningful relationships and it's no wonder I never get anything fully done.
3. I hate Styrofoam
4. My gross food blog is www.therecipeforfailure.com
5. Since age 16, every couple years I start smoking again, knowing full well that it is unhealthy and disgusting. I thoroughly enjoy myself, smoking my head off for 6-8 months, then abruptly quit again, and thoroughly enjoy being a nonsmoker. Right now I'm in my quitting cycle. I had a rule that after age 33 was the cut off, but I've never been good at rules.
6. I love brie. Love it. It is my vegan kryptonite.
7. I am spiritual, and right now I'm enjoying my nondenominationalism. If God created us, fine. If Jesus was around and he said a bunch of awesome stuff about how to be nice to each other, and then we killed him but he was like, oh yeah well HA I'm not dead, and now I'm out, fine. If we all die and something cool happens, fine. If not, and it's all a pack of lies, fine. But I'm not going to know for sure now anyway, so why debate it? I'm not hurting anybody by thinking what I think, as long as I don't think it makes me better than anyone else or that I can predict what the hell will happen to me or anyone else.
I grew up being dragged to christian church, and in my teen-early adult life, said eff this. Every terrible thing that people have done to me has been related somehow to a) Organized Religion or b) Coke. But because I feel a spiritual connection with people and the universe, I tried Christianity again for awhile, later in my adult life. Really studied it, and really tried to live it (yeah i still drank and swore, and though I was celibate for 5 years as an experiment, I still made out). This time I thought it would be different because my peers and I were consenting adults. Nope. Same thing, everyone was still super-fucked-up.
So now I think everyone should respect and leave everyone else alone. Let me sit and pray or send out my vibes or have a discussion with God/Universe/She/He/My Inner Self/The Flying Spaghetti Monster and leave me alone. It makes me a better person, trust me. Don't ask what I think about Creation, Evolution, Dinosaurs, Agnosticism, Noah's Ark, Atheism, The Trinity, or The Big Bang. The answer is, I don't. I love science (even the science of math), but I also love art, emotion, nature, and spirituality just as much; I don't see why people have to constantly try to make them compete with or disprove each other. I just want to enjoy things now, and make things better, because things suck a lot of the time for a lot of people.
8. I've never done coke.
9. I hate rum.
10. I can't crap in public restrooms. I have to have a private domestic bathroom (or like a hotel room). Deirdre (Little Darling, at right) tried once to talk me through it in a rest area on a road trip. We had not only the entire rest room, but the entire floor of the rest area to ourselves. Also, something weird was going on with the water system so all the water in all the toilets in the place was brown. This janitor lady who didn't speak English showed us to this private bathroom with the only 2 toilets left that hadn't been flushed while the water was all fucked up, so they were sparkling with clear, pristine water. As we settled in and I got ready to experience my first public crap, the janitor lady came back in and stood right outside my stall door. I don't know what the hell she was doing, like fluttering trash bags around... but standing RIGHT there, in this huge bathroom. It was so creepy. I texted Deirdre: "What the fuck, I can't do this, why is she Lurking out there!" I got stage fright and failed. She totally made me miss my window. Oh well.
11. Since then, our term for people who hover outside the bathroom door is Turd Lurker.
12. I spent $80 on sheets. They were worth it.
13. I really really like and love myself, and have inner happiness, for the first time in my life. Only took 33 years! I love being 33.
14. I'm a natural blonde. I hate blonde hair on me :) I've been every color, and besides super-bright red, this is my favorite.
15. I wear contacts - without them I'm blind past 3" from my face. I want Lasik so badly, but it freaks me out. Maybe one day.
16. I'm a sucker for plants and flowers. If you want to make me do something, just give me flowers and plants. I'm that easy.
17. I love snapdragons, peonies, sweet peas, cala lilies, poppies... any flower really, except gerber daisies (kim's favorite) and roses (though they smell nice). Creeping charlie, jade, bougainvillea trees, and all ferns are my favorite plants.
18. I always paint my toenails so, in case of my sudden death, they will look nice in the morgue with the little toe tag. I'm a planner.
19. I love food, and I love drinking. I'm like a Medieval King. It's ritualistic. Sometimes I blow people off to stay home and eat. It's impossible for me to ever get obese, but I do have a 5-13-pound fluctuation going on here and there, until my clothes and skin start looking way bad. Then it's salad and gym time, muttering about it until I can eat again, but delighted when everything fits me again. I also love cooking for people and serving them. Mmmm. Food.
20. Right now I'm eating raw for 2 weeks since Christmas time was one of those eat, drink, and be merry fests. Combine that with quitting and it's HeiferTown around here. I'm actually enjoying the raw food. Grapes rule.
21. If you're one of those people, like zillions, who have been in college forever, and you're studying your masters or your PhD or you're doing your thesis, or your something else that's kind of like a thesis but more important, and you try to talk to me about it, I won't be able to understand what you're saying, because I flunked high school more or less, took my SATs when I was 21, and dropped out after only 2 years of art school. Though I admire your focus and all that money you can afford. I for one would kill myself if I were you. So good job! And sorry I can't participate in the conversation about your life. Do you have a dog?
22. Skunks will attack mountain lions. Did you know? I didn't either, till last week. They are bad-ass.
23. I love to make lists. I think that' what got me to participate in this. If you ever need me to do something for you, besides giving me flowers, submit it in list form and I will do it just so I can cross it off. Watch:
24. Shut up.
25. Tag some people and send this already.
DONE! :)
Ps: you don't have to do this, I won't be offended.
PPs: If you made it all the way down here, you deserve a prize... wait for this to fully load
